CINCINNATI -- I've gotten plenty of interesting replies from folks who enjoyed the Vaseline column two weeks ago, and I only one have one further note about it: Don't make the mistake of substituting Burt's Beeswax Lip Balm for the pure, petroleum jelly.

I drove to the neighborhood where I run Sunday, and realized that all I had in the car was Burt's, which is like Carmex in that it helps protect against cold sores, er, chapped lips. But I assumed that in lieu of the Vaseline, Burt's would help guard against chafing. And while it did, as did my inability to run more than five miles Sunday, it did so in a very cool and tingly way. Remember Icy Hot, the stuff your high school basketball coach would put all over his back and knees after practice?

Anyway, Sunday's run was undoubtedly difficult. I ran eight miles on Feb. 9, and was aiming for 10 on Feb. 16, but I just couldn't do it. I enjoy running in the elements, all bundled up in layers and headphones, but I wasn't even a mile into Sunday's effort when the slushy streets and lumpy-with-snow sidewalks led to some serious lower back pain. Where's the Icy Hot when you need it?

So I ran and stretched and ran and walked, and repeated the process for about 3.5 miles. Keep in mind, Cincinnati was among the hardest hit cities in the midwest over the weekend, with the snow and ice and so forth. To finish up, I sandwiched a one-minute walk between two hard runs into the wind. On multiple occasions, an unfriendly gust forced a firm snowflake or two right into the back of my throat. Being in better cardiovascular condition would have allowed me to run with my mouth closed, thereby negating the likelihood of such an uncomfortable occurrence.

As discouraged as I became for struggling to a five-mile finish when just seven days before I coasted through eight miles, I still have a chance to be fully prepared for the Flying Pig Marathon, which is 76 days away. All I need to do is follow this Mark Damone-like five-point plan:

• Feb. 23: 10 miles
• March 2: 12
• March 9: 14
• March 16: 16
• March 23: 16
• March 30: Cincinnati Heart Mini-Marathon (9.3 miles)
• April 6: 18
• April 13: 20
• April 20: 23
• April 27: Take the day off!
• May 4: End the misery!

OK, so maybe it's more like an 11-point plan. Oh, Debbie. Isn't this great?

Between Sundays, I need to get better at completing smaller runs. And once it gets nice out -- my dad used to reply to those who said those two words with, "I think I'll leave it out" -- I'll resume riding my bike to get my legs stronger. Do you think Lance Armstrong is a scaredy cat? I'm comin' to get him.

As far as the diet goes, I'm fine there. I've been eating a lot of eggs, and I even put one in every fruit smoothie I make. Actually, I'm not so fancy; it's just a milkshake with a big mess-o-fruit in it. At the same time, I'm no Italian Stallion, but I will say these drinks are awesome. I throw in a banana, an orange, slice up some strawberries, add blueberries if they're available, throw in a yogurt, some vanilla ice cream, crushed ice, grape juice and orange juice. And of course, an incredible, edible egg.

I tried sharing my delightful beverage with the new dating interest a couple weeks ago, and she complained about the presence of the raw egg. Of course, I didn't inform her of the ingredients until she was halfway through her glass. She said she once got salmonella poisoning. She's fine now.

I think that about wraps things up for this week. Join me next time when I can hopefully deliver the news that I ran 10 incident-free miles.

Marathon Diary:

Feb. 3, 2003: Marathon Musings: Where's The Vaseline When You Need It?

Jan. 20, 2003: Pig Procrastination: Cold Can't Keep This Scribe Down!

Jan. 13, 2003: Wise Decision: Should I Run The Marathon?

More Wise Archives:

Off-Duty Editor Reflects On Fatal Fire

Get Well Soon, Huggs

Don't Shoot Anybody This Weekend

Wise Guy Loves The College FB Bit

Raise Your Hand If You . . .

More March Musings From Wise Guy

Stop The Madness

I Have A Dream

Wise is Senior Editor of ChannelCincinnati.com and TheLouisvilleChannel.com, and is training to run Cincinnati's Flying Pig Marathon in May. Check back again soon for more progress reports on his training, as well as some self-deprecating fun. Any help will be appreciated, and that doesn't exclude financial contributions.