When you're the oldest child in a family, you get really tired of the phrase "set a good example."
I'm the oldest of three daughters in my family. That meant that not only did I grow up bossy, opinionated and just generally unpleasant to be around, but it also meant that I was frequently reminded that I must "set a good example" for my sisters.
I probably didn't do a particularly good job of example-setting. Not that my sisters ended up selling drugs on street corners or trading insider stock information; one's a nurse and one's a legal secretary, and they're well-adjusted, nice young women who don't seem to have shown any ill effects from growing up with a poor example like me.
It's hard to be a good example, but it's the curse of the oldest child. There's no escaping it.
It's also the curse of the famous.
Think about it: If you've got teenage daughters, do they want to dress in kinder-whore outfits like Britney Spears? Do your sons wear baggy pants in imitation of their favorite rap stars? Do they go around saying "Whaazzzup?" until you're ready to decapitate them? Do you find yourself shaking your head over "kids today," and then gagging over the idea that you sound just like your parents, God forbid?
Duh. Of course they do, and of course you do.
And it's because of this universal truth (stay with me here: Kids imitate famous people whom they admire) that we should all be appalled by the recent behavior of the infamous trio of Sean "Puffy" Combs (aka Puff Daddy), Halle Berry and Whitney Houston.
(Important note: Please don't sprain your fingers in your haste to e-mail me and call me a detestable racist. The three people named in the above paragraph happen to be black; they also happen to be three of the highest-profile celebrities to have run afoul of the law in the last few months. Their skin color has nothing to do with their actions. Just calm down and save your outrage for something about which you should be truly indignant.)
In case you've been locked up in solitary confinement or holed up in an Arkansas cave for the last six months, here's a brief refresher course on this admirable trio:
- In December, Combs was arrested after a shooting inside a New York nightclub. Three people were shot after Combs and his entourage argued with other club patrons. After someone reportedly threw a wad of money into Combs' face, guns were drawn.
Combs and his crew -- including girlfriend Jennifer Lopez, she of the classy, demure Grammy dress -- then apparently fled the scene of the crime, zooming away in an SUV owned by Combs' entertainment conglomerate. They were stopped by police after running 11 red lights. (Here's a suggestion: If you're trying to avoid the attention of police, try not to run red lights.)
Combs was subsequently indicted on weapons and bribery charges. The latter stemmed from reports that he and his bodyguard offered Combs' driver a diamond ring and $50,000 to claim ownership of a gun that was recovered from the SUV when police stopped it. The ring was a gift from Lopez to Combs. Additionally, two people who were in the club during the shootings have filed civil lawsuits against Combs in connection with the incident.
Combs' attorney has asked that the charges be dismissed; Combs continues to maintain his innocence.
Of course, this isn't Combs' first run-in with the law. You can find out more about his extensive history in the criminal justice system here.
- Golden Globe-winning actress Berry was charged in March with misdemeanor hit-and-run after she reportedly crashed her rented SUV into another car in Beverly Hills Feb. 23 and then fled the scene.
The driver of the other car suffered a broken wrist in the accident and subsequently filed suit against Berry, seeking unspecified damages. Berry herself suffered cuts and took herself to the hospital, where doctors closed a gash in her face with 22 stitches.
Berry's attorney -- who, along with Berry, continues to insist that the actress didn't intend to flee the scene -- entered an innocent plea on her behalf earlier this month. If she's convicted, Berry faces a maximum penalty of a year in jail and a $10,000 fine.
Meanwhile, investigators are looking into reports that this wasn't the first time that Berry's been involved in a hit-and-run. If those reports are substantiated, the current charge against Berry could be upgraded to a felony.
- And then there's Houston, who has yet to be charged with any crimes, but whose recent bizarre behavior is raising a lot of eyebrows.
Houston was briefly detained at a Hawaiian airport in January after authorities found more than 15 grams of marijuana in her bag. Because airport agents, who can make arrests only for crimes related to airport security, weren't allowed to detain her, Houston boarded her plane and was gone by the time police arrived.
Earlier this week, Hawaiian authorities said they wouldn't charge Houston in connection with the incident, even though tests confirmed that the substance found in her bag was, in fact, marijuana.
However, Houston's erratic and bizarre behavior in the last few months has added fuel to the rumors that the singer has a drug problem.
Last month, Houston didn't perform as scheduled during a tribute song medley at the Academy Awards and was replaced at the last minute by country singer Faith Hill.
Houston said she backed out because of a sore throat; numerous reports say it was actuallly because she couldn't hit her cues and was acting "totally out of it," according to a source who was at the rehearsals.
Songwriter Burt Bacharach, one of the Oscars' musical directors, reportedly got so frustrated with Houston at a rehearsal that he told her to hit the road.
"Just leave," Bacharach was quoted as saying to Houston, just two days before the Oscar telecast. "It's not going to work out."
Sources said Houston spent only 15 minutes rehearsing, missed a cue and then sang the wrong song. That's when Bacharach dumped her. "Whitney's chronic condition is very sad," a cryptic Bacharach told People magazine in its April 17 issue.
The Oscar debacle followed Houston's failure to show up at this year's Rock 'n' Roll Hall of Fame induction ceremony on behalf of Arista Records president Clive Davis, one of her mentors.
And then there's her recent interview with Jane magazine. Staffers say she showed up four hours late and "acted really strange" once she got there: "She was singing to herself," editor Jane Pratt told People. "Then she would pretend to play the piano, like an air piano. Her eyes were very heavy-lidded."
Houston blamed her tardiness on a visit to the dentist, but no explanation was offered for her curious remarks during the interview, in which she tossed around four-letter words, compared meeting President Clinton to hanging around with a junkie ("They're just men, you dig?"), and announced that she'd bought her bracelet from "this Jew guy on Diamond Row in New York."
Well, OK. Here's how it works. Although a handful of celebrities seem to think that their fame absolves them of all responsibility for their actions, the reverse is actually true: When you have so many eyes focused on you -- particularly impressionable young eyes -- the responsibility becomes greater, not less.
Celebrities who complain about living their lives in a fishbowl are disingenuous in the extreme. When you strive to make your name and your work internationally famous -- when you seek to have many eyes focused on you -- you have to be aware that those eyes will see not just your triumphs, but also your stumbles.
And when your stumbles involve nightclub shootings, hit-and-run accidents and bizarre, unexplained behavior, you can be sure that some young fans may begin to believe that it's just fine to mimic your actions. After all, you're famous and beloved -- that must mean that everything you do is OK.
It's called "setting a good example," and -- like it or not -- it's part of the job description.
Note: Betsy's pop culture column, Culture Shocked, appears every Wednesday in our Entertainment section. She welcomes your questions and comments.
Want to be notified by e-mail of the newest edition of Culture Shocked? Click here.
