Need an O’Douls with that veggie burger? Apparently, yes. New statistics show sales of E-cigarettes and non-alcoholic beer are skyrocketing, proof that in a world of warning labels we’re now faking it.
Sales of non-alcoholic beers are expected to rise 80 percent internationally in 2014, while E-cigarette sales are projected to double. We still love meat, but health fears have driven us to eat more and more “mock meat”, with chef’s using corn, soy, wheat gluten and fungus to create imitations. Yummy.
Think about it. We want to take a walk on the wild side, but we should probably just use the treadmill in case there’s ice on the sidewalk. So, has living in a world of warning labels made us overcautious?
Here’s a list of ways we’re faking it:
#1: Why risk landing in the branches of a tree when we can skydive in a wind tunnel?
#2: Why chance 10 to 20 years in the can when you can break bad on Grand Theft Auto?
#3: Who needs to schlep all the way to a mountain when you can hit the vertical limit at L.A. Fitness?
#4: We say no thanks to those TSA patdowns and opt for a virtual vacation because who needs a beach and a Mai Tai when you have a spray tan and a six pack of O’Douls non-alcoholic beer.
The wild side, on the safe side… Faking it, that’s what’s trending.