Brimfield Police Chief David Oliver's book based on his Facebook rants, "No Mopes Allowed," is selling well, he reported on the department's website.
BRIMFIELD, Ohio - In a letter that begins "Dear Drunk Driver, thanks for the call today," Brimfield Police Chief David Oliver responds to a man angry he was arrested for OVI.
Oliver continues to tell the man he should've thought "about all of this" before he made the choice to drive drunk.
"You drove in from out of town, went to a campus bar in the area, got hammered like a piece of wood on home makeover…and made a choice to drive drunk. Luckily, my officers caught you before you killed someone…or yourself. So, your litany of grievances and complaints are not my problem," Oliver stated in his most recent Facebook post.
The chief continues to tell the man he's sorry he lives 50 miles away from home, but "you should hang out at home more. Home is good. You can put on some scrubby clothes, watch some TV."
Having his car impounded didn't sit well with the accused, but Oliver said "I could not care less if you walk here to retrieve it; just be sober and bring a valid driver, because you have a suspended license."
Oliver doesn't hold back in telling the man how he really feels about his poor choice to drive drunk.
"You are kind of whiny. I'm not sure if anyone has ever told you that. It is not on us that you may lose your job, your wife is mad….and you cannot find anyone to bring you to court or drive you here to get your car. Leave your car here for all I care. I will auction it and send the money to MADD."
The chief tries to give the man some advice, that likely won't be received well.
"You need to accept some personal responsibility for your actions. You drank, you drove, we arrested. Your actions caused a reaction. Change your actions."
And then Oliver explained that not only did the man fail the field sobriety test, he tanked it "as evidenced by you damn near causing the BAC machine to die from alcohol poisoning. Your driving sucked, your field tests looked close to me attempting to break dance…By the way, what did you think of our new holding cells? We love them. They are just so roomy."
The response letter ends this way: "I am not sorry we took you off of the street before you hit a high school kid coming from a game or date. I have had to take the long walk to the front porch to give parents that bad news, which is why we are so vigilant in our efforts to catch drunk drivers. We may have avoided a family having a real-life nightmare, and we may have helped you avoid committing an act you would have had to relive for the rest of your life."
"Think of it as intervention, with a smile…Chief Oliver."
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Brimfield Police Chief David Oliver's book "No Mopes Allowed" is now available for presale.
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