When little Suzie paints her first piece of art in pre-school, it may look to you like your little girl could give Picasso a run for his money.

When little Billy scores the winning soccer goal, you may have images of him being the next David Beckham.

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It's common to think your child is a genius, the star of the team or destined to be the next president of the United States. But some experts say that letting youngsters know those feelings may be setting him up to fail -- and to not be able to handle that failure.

"I believe we have raised a generation of people who can hardly get through the day without an award," said Carol Dweck, professor of psychology at Stanford University and author of "Mindset: The New Psychology of Success."

This constant praise gives the person a sense of entitlement. Dweck believes that negatively affects the child and the surrounding society.

Set Up For Disappointment

Dweck believes that the concept of praising children got a huge boost from the self-esteem movement, a term coined in the 1980s and hit its peak in the '90s.

Parents, educators and professionals pushed self-esteem and it crept up in school mission statements across the country. Teachers were discouraged from using red pens. Trophies blanketed the shelves of every single player -- not just winners.

"The self-esteem movement and the parents who jumped on the bandwagon made the mistake of believing that you can simply give children self-esteem as a gift," said Dweck. "Instead, they gave them the burden of inflated and fragile egos."

Jean Twenge, author of "Generation Me: Why Today's Young Americans Are More Confident, Assertive, Entitled -- And More Miserable Than Ever Before," believes praise plays an essential role in the attitude of Generation Me.

Twenge said those who grew up at the head of the self-esteem movement were raised to believe they would be rich and famous and find the perfect partner. She also believes that generation was taught to love themselves, no matter what.

"This combination of high expectations and high self-love has set us up to be disappointed. Even if we are successful, we always want more," she said.

Lack Of Real Confidence

The one major thing the movement didn't provide students with was actual confidence. Children were praised for their intelligence levels or ability and, in too many cases, the experts said, they were praised for possessing more those qualities than they actually did.

Nicole Feldman-St. James, who at 26 is considered right smack in the middle of Generation Me, said she believes there are many people her age who believe that the world owes them something.

"If you were born in to a home where your parents had you convinced that that you are God's gift, chances are you will venture through the first half of your life believing that you are," she said.

Dweck believes children of this generation were fed phrases such as, "You got an A-plus, you're such a math genius" and "You were the star of that game, the Michael Jordan of your school."

"Most parental figures may have spent their time telling their children that they are the smartest in school, the best dancer, best singer, best athlete and so on," Feldman said. "Using the word 'best' would be their first mistake."

This generic praise fails to encourage a child's hard work and dedication and places children in what Dweck calls the fixed mindset.

"Children with a fixed mindset believe that their intelligence is a fixed trait. You have only a certain amount and that's that," she said. "They therefore become worried about how much they have, and they run from situations that might reveal inadequacies."

Change Your Praise

Dweck and Twenge believe the key to changing this is to change the way children are praised.

Both agree that praise, in moderation and done correctly, can be a good thing.

Dweck said children need to be praised on their processes -- efforts, improvements or strategies -- in order to put them into what she calls a growth mindset.

She said children with a growth mindset believe that their intelligence is a potential that can be developed. That makes children want to learn and see that mistakes are a part of learning.

"They don't necessarily believe that everyone is the same or that anyone can be Einstein, but they believe everyone can get smarter through effort and education," she said.

"Both praise and support are good when they are used in moderation and are given for actual good performance," Twenge said. "It can be motivating to feel bad about yourself or your performance. Many people learn the most from their mistakes."

Twenge said it is fine to tell a child she did a great job when she draws a picture. But it's not good to tell her that it's the best picture in the entire world.

She said everyone should absolutely tell their child they love them, but do not tell them they are special.

"He's special to you, he's your child, but that doesn't mean the rest of the world should treat him as special or that he should believe it will," she says.

Mistakes Are Interesting

Aside from praising the processes your child takes, Dweck said parents and educators can convey to children that challenges are fun. She said children should value challenges as a means to learning and not easy tasks as a meant to look smart. They can say, "Oh, that was too easy; that's no fun."

They can also be taught that hard work creates learning and makes their brain stronger. Parents or educators can say things like, "You're going to have to work hard on this, but boy you're going to learn a lot.

They also need to know that mistakes are interesting. Errors are a natural, helpful part of learning and not something that indicates low ability.

Parents can say things like, "Wow, that's an interesting mistake! What can we learn form it?"

"Children are incredibly attuned to the messages we send them. We might as well send the right ones," Dweck said.

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